


Moving Forward

by USWNTPhilly



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F, USWNT
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-30
Updated: 2013-06-30
Packaged: 2017-12-16 16:01:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/863893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/USWNTPhilly/pseuds/USWNTPhilly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a story using all original characters based on members with the USWNT.  This is a 'first time' story based on a relationship between Liz Davidson, a tall Forward that likes to head the ball and Lexan West, the pretty Forward that likes to wear a pink pre-wrap headband.<br/>It's my first attempt at Fan Fic.<br/>Enjoy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Moving Forward

Moving Forward  
Chapter 1  
Elizabeth Mary Davidson  
Spring 2012

The alarm was the first thing that got her attention. The soft, low beep continued to grow louder the longer she avoided it. The second thing was the bright light filling the room…long, stretching, streaks of bright white crossing the wall of her hotel room. She had not expected to sleep this late though it was a welcome change. Elizabeth Mary Davidson was tired. She turned the alarm off instead of hitting snooze. She pulled off the covers, threw her long legs off the side of the bed and sat up. Running her fingers through her messy hair and yawning, she smiled like she does every time she thinks about coffee. Coffee makes Liz happy. Okay….coffee, dogs and soccer make Liz happy, not necessarily in that order. She thinks about her next 24 hours. As much as she loves soccer she had a pit in the bottom of her stomach. Liz has become the de facto leader of United States Women’s National Soccer team. She was not the Captain, though sometimes she was acknowledged as a co-Captain. She was not the most graceful or emotionally balanced player…but there was no one who cared more for the success of the team, or anyone who felt more pressure to perform. Things have not been great for Women’s soccer in America as of late. The latest incarnation of Women’s Professional soccer is a mess and despite her attempts to simply be a soccer player, Liz has found herself tangled up with the bad press the owner of her professional team has brought upon them. Liz has spent her whole professional career trying to avoid the politics that goes along with the game. She’s a soldier among other soldiers and though she can lead and really DOES lead…she prefers to do it in her own way. Liz is smart. When interviewed is the most eloquent, positive and fair interview to be found, but she knows that if she had not been gifted with incredible talent, Liz would not be in the position she finds herself in…heading into the Olympic Summer games.

Liz is not what popular culture typically looks for in their soccer role models. She is tall, muscular and loud. Most of society is much more comfortable with the traditional vision of a ‘soccer girl’…pretty, athletic but not ‘manly’…and a pony tail jauntily bouncing with every move. Liz was none of that. She is a product of her upbringing which in and of itself was unusual for soccer success. Soccer has become so competitive and so popular among young people that unless the child has remarkable and noticed talent, it can become a matter of family financial security that can lead to being ‘seen’ in a way that can open doors. These days a child needs to play for their School’s team as well as a club team, perhaps a travel team and attend development camps to get pushed to the top of their game, because only the top will be seen. It can be brutal and it can be emotionally devastating. Almost every child has posters of their idols adorning the wall of their bedroom. Do they ALL dream of becoming them?… perhaps not. The ones who have been told that THEY TOO can be WHATEVER YOU WANT TO BE are either sold an untruth or must work incredibly hard…and along the way get some old fashion good luck. The right plays at the right time and in front of the right people. In Liz’s case she got where she is today through raw athletic ability. Liz was a big fish (literally) in a small pond. At almost 6 feet tall, she grew up in a small town outside of Utica, New York. It was a great place to grow up. The area towns were economically depressed but still safe. People didn’t lock their doors at night. Quite honestly, Liz has so many brothers and sisters there was no way the house could be locked because there were not enough keys to go around at any given time. Her home life was chaotic. It was like many large Catholic homes.

Lots of kids, lots of noise, lots of competition, lots of love (not always freely shown) and not enough food for everyone to feel completely full. Liz was the youngest and looked up to all of her brothers and sisters. The greatest athlete in Liz’s family was her older sister who…if title 9 had kicked in a bit earlier would have been equally if not more successful than Liz. Truth be told, Liz still feels like each of her wins are not only for her team, future soccer girls and herself, but also for her older sister…who simply did not have the same opportunity that Liz had. Her sister is so proud of her, but there is a sense of sadness. Not jealously….NEVER jealously because there’s too much love between them for that…but history has ripped off women and left them with less opportunities for greatness. Liz’s sister is a constant reminder of that. Liz played with her older brothers like she was a boy. There was nothing she wouldn’t try and because she WAS a girl…had a self-imposed pressure to do it all well. She was so talented with athletics that her older brother’s friends didn’t mind AT ALL that Liz wanted to play sports with them. It was as if the whole town knew that Liz was headed for something BIG. How big….only time would tell.

 

Chapter 2  
Liz and Mandy  
Training Camp-2010  
Mandy Robinson didn’t have the shocking blond, spikey hair that she will become famous for yet. Though not as famous as she will eventually become; Mandy…or as many call her…Robbie, was already well known for her unhinged humor, open celebrations and her incredible talent as a Winger for USWNT. Robbie has known Liz for many years. Robbie has been one of the few people consistently invited into Liz’s personal world. Both Liz and Mandy are gay. Neither of them is wild about the term ‘Lesbian’, but either way you slice it….they’re queer. Mandy is much more openly political for the cause. She has a twin sister who is also gay and together the Robinson twins are gay soccer powerhouses. Though Mandy has not yet made a worldwide declaration of her incredible gayness….she would eventually. Liz on the other hand saw no value in getting her personal life tangled up with her professional life. Her sexuality has been the worst kept secret in women’s soccer but she simply didn’t want it to be a distraction to her game. She also secretly recognized that if she was ‘hot’ and gay…she would still be marketable. Because she was a bit more ‘Dykey’, she feared that even the smallest backlash from the public might lose her endorsements. She realized and still does, that a professional athlete’s shelf life is limited. She needed to squeeze as much financial reward as possible before she hits her ‘use by’ date. She’s really one bad quote or a blown ACL from being yesterday’s ESPN news. Liz has taken A LOT of crap for her decisions around exposing her sexuality. She gets a daily barrage of negative feedback informing her that she MUST come out of the closet, and that she OWES that to fans and that she NEEDS to be a role model for young gay people. Liz understands the passion behind some of the criticisms but she DOES NOT need to come out for anyone. In reality she’s not in the closet, not since high school. She has dated women and shown open affection. There are numerous Google images of Liz on dates, most of them with Sandra. Sandra and Liz have been on and off since getting together while both were playing on the Washington Filibusters soccer team. Right now they are off. Liz isn’t sure how she feels about Sandra. Liz has simply presented herself all along in such a way that asking her questions of a personal nature is not appropriate. Liz’s focus is always outward. She’d much rather talk about her team than herself. She’d rather talk about the assist she received rather than the goal she scored. From the outside it can almost seem annoyingly humble, another manipulated attempt to seem BETTER than other players. Ask anyone who has worked with Liz, they will say it’s genuine. In many ways Davidson is a textbook example of a survival mechanism turned to greatness. Psychologists would probably say that because Liz was the youngest of many siblings she had to FIGHT to be known. Perhaps they would say that because she was never the prettiest, she had to be the funniest….the loudest….the craziest. In fact, her need to be ‘a part of’ almost cost her professional career. During a moment of self-searching she convinced herself that she didn’t want the lifestyle of a budding professional athlete. She wanted to be home, with friends and family. She wanted to be that big fish in the little pond again. The work it would take to bring her game to the next level was not something she was sure she wanted to commit too. Thankfully she met some very important people at very important times. She simply couldn’t be the Gay icon that her fans wanted her to be. She would leave that to Mandy….who had a certain attractiveness that would pull her through any backlash bumps….if there were to be any.

“So what up?” Mandy asked Liz as she sat down with two cups of coffee. “Nothing yet, waiting to see the newbies”, Liz replied. Today was the type of day that both Liz and Mandy have been through several times before. Version 2010 of the USWNT has been called to training camp in preparations for the next World Cup. It’s a time of seeing old friends that can sometimes be competitors and the expectation of meeting new players. By this time Liz has become well aware of her presence at camp. She has become the Face of the WNT. By no means is she the player with the most experience. If anyone deserved to be the ‘face’ it would be Wendy Pierce. Wendy is the oldest player on the WNT and the team Captain. She is an unsung leader who deserves much more praise and attention than she receives. In addition to Wendy there was Hailey; the pretty, perky, pranking defender has been on the WNT since the famous ‘99’ers but hasn’t had the media attention or fame that Davidson got. Let’s face it; the player that scores….or STOPS a goal gets the most attention. Liz and Hailey have known each other since college. Hailey knew Liz before she was ‘Liz the GREAT’…before Liz had committed to professional soccer. Hailey is one of the people who knows how hard Liz had to work, and what she had to sacrifice to get where she is. Their friendship is understated yet incredibly strong. “Have you heard much of our new crop?” Megan asks Liz. “I’ve heard of all of them, but not really met many. I think Petra is serious about the World Cup next year, she’s gonna stack our deck.” Liz responds. The younger mid-fielder is looking around as the players file in. “Well…as usual….they are a good looking bunch.” Liz rolls her eyes. “You would notice that….you ol dog.” Robinson barks softly. “Woof.”

Grace Ein sets her tray down on the table next to Mandy. “Barking already Robbie?” Grace is the team’s Goal Keeper. She was also the world’s greatest at the job. Her last name means ‘one’ in German which is simply perfect because she is #1 in the world and she wears the #1 Jersey. Grace is complicated. Grace has had a complicated professional career and Grace’s relationship with Liz is complicated. They have had to work a lot of things out and are in a good place right now, but there were times in the last several years where professionally they did not like each other much. They are very different. Liz will never forget the time they kissed. Grace will go to her grave never admitting to the moment. Grace will later write a book in which she gives an unnamed French player the credit for her ONE same sex kiss, but Liz knows better and it makes her smile every time she thinks about it. Neither women have mentioned the incident again but every once in a while, Liz swears that when she is talking with her, Grace will be staring at her lips. It’s unnerving! As if nothing would please Grace more than to have Liz lean in and softly kiss her. Thus far, Liz has avoided the urge. Grace is straight and Liz knows that. Liz also gives her heart away too easily. It probably goes back to the whole ‘from a big family/wanting to be loved’ thing. Liz is grateful that she recognizes this vulnerability. So far, she’s been able to maintain her sense of self and individuality. ‘Dedicated to her profession’, is how her teammates describe Liz publicly. In private they would describe her as painfully lonely.  
“Ein!” Liz yells in a friendly tone. “Two!!” Grace responds as planned. It’s their inside joke. They have done it over and over and over through their years as teammates, and it equally sets eyes rolling and makes mouths turn up at their edges to form smiles. It’s expected and it’s warm. Every so often another player will yell out “Three” from another corner of the room and it could go on from there but rarely gets past Five before the joke wears off. The new players always look befuddled until someone explains that Grace’s last name means “One” in German. They typically smile and feel like they have just been welcomed into a secret club. This morning the joke didn’t get a smile from a new player named Lexan West. Liz noticed Lexan for several reasons. Lexan has been known as an ‘up and comer’ for quite some time. She has had some injuries but has also won accolades from the Under 20’s as well as her Professional teams. She was FAST, super-FAST! She was also REALLY pretty. There was something ‘clean’ about her look, Liz thinks. Hailey on one hand….is very attractive. So attractive that it’s surprising that she can play as well as she does. Hailey could be on a TV show or in a beauty pageant. Lexan is attractive but does not look out of place on the soccer pitch the way Hailey can sometimes. Lexan doesn’t smile at Grace and Liz’s inside joke. Another reason Liz notices Lexan is that looks like she’s going to throw up. She has a pallor that is verging on green. Liz was genuinely concerned for the kid. 

 

Moving Forward  
Chapter 3  
Liz Meets the Terrible Trio  
Training camp 2010  
Lexan feels like she is going to puke. Seriously….she is so nervous that she is seeing little sparking dots in her periphery and her hands are starting to tingle. She thinks….’I can’t believe I’m freaking going to pass out or puke in front of these people…who DOES that?!’ She had spent most of the morning giving herself a pep talk and taking deep breaths. She has suffered from nerves since she was a child. Her parents have always been very supportive of her athletic career but they were hyper focused on her. Soccer has always been fun for Lex, but she has always felt a heavy sense of pressure to perform. So she finds herself HERE…finally….training camp with the Senior National team. She CANNOT believe she is sitting here among these players. She casually looks around the meeting room trying to seem cool despite the butterflies and creeping sense that the plate of fruit she just consumed was trying to find a way to escape back out her hatch. At a corner table is Midfielder Dorian Chamberlain. She is so pretty and so freaking good as a forward AND midfielder….. and sooooo Christian. Lex hopes that her devout faith doesn’t keep her from being fun, or at least approachable. Of course she already knows that a person can be into God and still be pretty cool. She had already met a couple of the new players last night, one of which had bible right on her bed. Though she didn’t ask Daylin about the book she was grateful when Daylin didn’t speak in tongues or quote scripture at her. Lex doesn’t really understand why ‘out of the closet’ Christians made her so uncomfortable but she was going to try to be easy about it. Lexan’s eyes fall on another table where Mandy Robinson, Grace Ein and HOLY CRAP….Liz Davidson is sitting. Lexan now feels a completely different level of nausea roll over her when she notices that Liz is actually looking at her. Oh my god…..she is now walking toward her. ‘Don’t puke, don’t puke, breathe……atta girl…..down fruit….DOWN there……stay!’ At that exact moment her two newbie buddies bounce up to her table and plop their workout bags on the table. “Yo West, whattup?” Drawls Daylin from Lexi’s right in that faux California accent thing she has going on. Lex is already quite fond of Daylin but thinks…..’she’s from Jersey for chrissakes….where’s the surfer dude stuff coming from’. From her left is Kathey O’Conner “Hey Lex…you eat yet?” Despite being the meat between two slices of a happy sandwich, she can’t take her eyes off Liz who is still walking toward her. Lexan doesn’t have time to answer O’Connor’s question because Liz has reached their table and as dopey and Daylin and Kathey can be, even they sense the magnitude of who is standing before them. I don’t think any of them expected to be approached by any Senior team let alone THIS Senior memeber. “Hi…..I’m Liz.” she says directly to Lexan. “DUDE…..Liz Davidson!” Daylin bursts in. “I’m Daylin Hutch it’s an honor to meet you” Liz smiles at both Daylin and Kathey and returns her eyes to Lexan. “Hi”, she resumes “I came over to see if you are okay, I can see from the other side of the room you looked a little green around the gills.” At the same time both Kathey and Daylin swing their heads in Lex’s direction in an unintentionally comical way. This will become par for the course. Daylin and Kathey are like puppies; unless they are on the soccer pitch…then they are ALL business. Lex is struck at how absurd the three of them must seem to Liz but is not ashamed. She is already super fond of these two knuckleheads and is so grateful she has them during this time in her life. Liz waits for Lexan to respond. Lex clears her throat and gets out “mmokay thanks”. Liz is stuck at how raspy and deep Lexan’s voice is….quite sexy actually. Liz doesn’t spend any time on that thought because it is out of the question that she even consider ANYTHING mildly interesting in any of the newbies, save if they have a sweet pair of Nike cleats she can comment on. Liz extends her hands and in a louder voice that she intended, “Glad to hear it!! Then welcome to the Women’s National Team, anything you need…..do not hesitate!” She has a cocky smile on her face and shakes each of the three woman’s hands before turning on her heels, and walking back to her table. Lex notices by the lack of reaction from either Mandy or Grace, Liz didn’t roll her eyes or mock them as she walked away. Girls and women are so quick to belittle each other for a leg up or a laugh. At that moment Lexan realized that Liz was going to be a person to pay attention to…and that her butterflies have gotten worse.

 

Chapter 4  
Petra is not messing around  
Training Camp-2010  
Training Pitch  
The players are split up by specialty. Grace and the other Goal Keepers; Vanessa Barnard and Cord Harrison are working inside the box on one end of the pitch. Liz can’t help but smile whenever she thinks of Barnard and Harrison. Firstly…..VANESSA? Van Barnard is so NOT a Vanessa any more than Cord is a Cordelia. Liz sometimes laughs out loud about the few times she has actually called Cord, ‘Cordelia.’ It makes her so mad. Cord is strikingly handsome. Even though she has long blond hair she has toughness that always comes through. She’s simply sexy and though Liz has never been attracted to her she can certainly see why so many women AND men are. The fangirls are nuts for Cord. Even though everyone knows her heart belongs to a certain midfielder with the twinkling eyes and a killer smile. Vanessa Barnard is one of the top three smarty pants on the USWNT. This is no slam…it’s a total compliment. If the USWNT was stuck on Gilligan’s Island, Vanessa would be the Professor. That new girl Kathey would probably be Gilligan. Hailey might be Ginger……..who would Liz be? *ding* LIZ….would be the character who gets them off the damn island!!!!! What Vanessa is not…. is a VANESSA. Van is a name more suited for her looks. Smart and super sweet Van is secretly one of Liz’s favorite all-time teammates. The goalie coach has them going through some serious drills. Liz sees Grace dive and get her fingertips enough on the ball to shift it off course. Liz is amazed at the strength in Grace’s body. Pound or pound she is by far the most muscular. She makes Liz appear soft. If Grace didn’t have HER good looks, her manly body would be cause for negative comments. Instead it seems that men are equally impressed and turned on by Grace’s jacked body. Liz finds herself in a rare moment when she senses she stands out as different from her teammates. She’s simply not ‘pretty’. She’s huge and weighs close to 190 pounds. She causes actual pain when she accidently steps on a person’s foot. She dances like a goofball and has the style sense of a 13 year old boy. She is loved by her teammates and effective at her job, but she is different and at the moment feeling unattractive by comparison.

“Davidson! Get your head out of the clouds and get over here!!!” Petra shouts across the pitch. Liz is snapped back to the action and gives a small wave letting the Coach know she has heard her. Much more delay might cause Petra to break into song. Coach can turn any situation into a song from the 1970s. Liz really likes her. Petra is an amazing coach and Liz always wants to do right by her. She was a welcome change from Gary Right years and though it’s been several years since Petra has taken over, the team has yet to achieve World Cup greatness under her counsel. Liz desperately wants this World Cup win. Liz broke her arm and missed the 2008 Olympics, therefore didn’t contribute to THAT Gold Medal. She hasn’t helped win anything big during Petra’s reign. None of the stars over the US Soccer crest that she wears so proudly were through her contribution. She wants to see three stars over the Women’s crest before she hangs up her boots. She has a few months to prepare for that star. 

The day is long and Lex is growing frustrated. She is having a hard time getting into the rhythm of this faster game. She wants nothing more than to earn a starting spot on the team. She understands that she will need to prove herself on a regular basis in order to do that. For now she is simply trying to keep up, show aptitude and have the right attitude. She realizes in order to start she actually has to be called up to the WNT and until you step on the field and earn your first cap, you’ve not really made it.  
Liz has been waiting for someone to come along who could provide even a portion of the chemistry she had with Maya. Probably the best thing that has happened thus far in Liz’s professional career was getting drafted 2nd by an earlier incarnation of the Women’s Professional league and thus being placed on the same team as the great Maya Rand. Maya changed Liz’s life. Maya taught Liz how to be a professional. Maya taught Liz the importance of TEAM. Maya helped Liz grow up. Sadly, since Maya’s departure from the WNT in 2004, Liz has felt partner less. She has been waiting for the person who will know all her dance moves. She’s yet to arrive. Training camp after training camp Liz watches the new players. They have mad skills or they wouldn’t have been called up to the camp, but none been a match for Liz’s moves. Sure, they can make it work. Sure, they can create goals, and assist each other, and get wins but there is never sense that each can read the others mind, like it was for Liz and Maya. They were like lovers in a completely non sexual way. They simply knew what the other liked and had a strong desire to please the other person. It was selfless playing among amazing play makers. Liz’s inability to recreate with another player in the recent years has left her weary that it was something that was beautiful and gone forever. I snapshot in time. The simple truth is that Liz was losing her enthusiasm for the game. Even with the approaching World Cup and then the Olympics in 2012, she was not as excited as she should be. That scared her. She is supposed to be the team’s BIGGEST cheerleader and playmaker. She has to be the one who pulls the rabbit out of the hat when no one else believes it can be done. Liz is the one who ALWAYS believes…yet…..it’s fading.

Petra has the Forwards going through their paces. It’s rare that the head Coach is directly calling the drills. Liz is sitting off to the side with Leslie Tarkle, another forward and they are watching Dorian Chamberlain and Lexan West out on the pitch. “Damn, that girl is fast!” Tarkle says in a surprised tone “Which one?” Liz asks. “The one with the pink pre-wrap in her hair…shit, you KNOW which one I’m talking about” she snorts. Liz smiles and says “Yeah, she’s fast, it’s surprising because her legs aren’t that long” Tarkle laughs “Please, you have long legs and a garbage truck could out run you….WHILE stopping to get garbage!” Tarkle laughs and Liz squirts her with her Gatorade bottle. Liz adds playfully “When I’m healthy I can haul ass. YOU try running fast with 190 pounds of pure American muscle” Liz flaunts a bicep muscle as Tarkle jumps away from the cold water. They are both smiling and laughing. “DAVIDSON!” yells Peta. “Chamberlain out! Davidson in!” This is the first time that Liz has been on the pitch with Lexan West. This is the first time they have even looked at each other since Liz’s introduction to Lexan and the other stooges. “You ready to do this?” Liz asks her. “YOU ready Davidson?” Lexan has a smile on her face while she says it. Liz has never been called by her last name by a newbie and is taken back by it for a moment. When the cross rockets at Liz, she stumbles toward her first touch. The ball drops of her chest and Liz fires the ball off her left foot, well wide of the goal. Deflated, Liz’s first set up with Lexan West is not magical… it’s not even good.  
On the last night of camp Lexan is sitting with Daylin and Kathey in their shared room. “Do you think you’re going to get called up for qualifiers?” Daylin asks them both. It’s the question on everyone’s mind. Daylin has been played with the Senior National team before; it’s easier for her to ask the question that was on everyone’s mind. “I have no earthly idea” Lexan replies in a quiet voice. All three of them are unusually quiet on this evening. None feel like they showed their best moves during their time here. “The game is so fast” Kathey adds “I have always been a Forward and when Petra put me in as a Defender, I felt lost.” She continued “I don’t know WHY she would want me on the team when she already has such great Defenders. Freaking Wendy Pierce? Emily Lafayette? Becca Saubretten? Gretchen Rachel? How am I going to break into that line? I’m fucked.” Lexan adds “You were really good Kathey! No shit. I think Petra did that because she saw value in you and knew there wasn’t a spot on the front line. She WANTS you on the team and is trying to find a fit for you.” Kathey sighs and runs her fingers through her long hair, stopping at the tips to consider her split ends. “Maybe you’re right….let’s talk about you WEST!” suddenly back to her perky self. “Hello….who runs like the wind? Who runs like a gazelle being chased by a lion being chased by a rifle? YOU!” All three laugh at that. Daylin chimes in “She doesn’t run like a gazelle, she runs like a horse” The other two look a bit horrified “Seriously” Daylin continues “She gallops” Daylin hops off the bed and does an overwrought impression of a horse clomping around the room, for effect she whinnies a bit. “Shut the fuck up!” Lex laughs. “I do not” Kathey adds “Yeah….you kinda do run like a horse. Just sayin. Nothing personal, it’s not bad….” Daylin adds “But she’s too young to be a horse. She’s a pony! Or a filly!” and whinnies again. “A pony!” Kathey shouts “WESTern pony!! This could work. “There’s a soft knock on the door and while Lexan gets up to answer it, she responds “Drop it, it’s stupid….it will never take off” She is still smiling when she opens the door….Liz standing there with a box of pizza. She looks fabulous. She has a pair of sweats on and black t-shirt. She is wearing a knit hat on her head that Lexan has seen in pictures of Liz. Lexan is stuck by the fact that Liz is an attractive woman. VERY different than herself, or the others on her team, but Liz has a look and a presence that is incredibly inviting. She also has the bluest eyes Lexan has ever seen. Lexan’s smile slowly fades and the butterflies return. Lexan thinks to herself ‘What the fuck is with the nerves’ It briefly dawns on her that the two times she has felt the wave of nausea was when Liz was in the general vicinity. She has no idea what that means. Liz says “Pizza delivery! Did you guys order a pizza?” Lexan turns to look at the other two. Both shake their heads and look confused….not an unusual look for either of them. “Um…no, we didn’t order it” she adds. Liz looks briefly off balance and then regroups and says “Huh…okay, well do you want it anyway? A guy said it was for this room; maybe he got the number wrong. I paid him for it, so you might as well eat it.” Liz replies in a tone more snarky than intended “You paid for it, why don’t you eat it?” Daylin, by now in the door way and peeking in the box “Dude….all veggie! We’ll take it. Thanks Liz” Kathey also sends her thanks from the back of the room. Lexan hands the box over to Daylin and turns to face Liz before closing the door. “You got a minute?” Liz asks. Lexan nods and feels a fresh wave of nerves. Liz leads them into the hall. The door closes behind them with a soft click. “How are you feeling?” Liz asks. She sensed disappointment from Lexan after the last drills on the training pitch. Liz has been doing this long enough to understand the nerves training camp can induce. When Lexan doesn’t respond, Liz continues “You did well West” that’s the first time Liz has used Lexan’s name. She quickly decides she likes how her last name sounds when Liz says it. She listens to what the veteran has to say. “You are a better player than you realize. You have giant potential. I want to be honest, I’ve seen a lot of training camps and a lot of young little ‘Wests’ come through the ranks. Some have been as good as you and some have been better. If you want my advice, show Petra you WANT this more than anyone in the camp…that you’d take a permanent spot on the bench if means getting to wear the United States kit….just once. Everyone invited to camp has talent. YOU need to show her you have heart.” Lexan nods but doesn’t respond right away. Finally she gets out “Wow. That’s good advice Liz. You’re right. That’s the thing that sets YOU apart from the rest.” She adds quickly “Besides your amazing skill of course…..It’s almost like you’d take a bullet if it means winning.” Liz adds “I’d definitely TAKE a bullet if it meant winning the World Cup next year.” Liz opens the door for Lexan to return to her friends and some pizza, signaling that their conversation is at an end. Before she closes it fully Liz adds one more thing. “By the way…has anyone told you, you run like a horse?” Lexan looks exasperated as she turns fully into the room and shuts the door. Her friends heard what Liz’s last words were and as they start to howl, Kathey literally laughs out a glob of broccoli onto Daylin leg…who quickly flicks it off her leg and sticks it to the wall. The fit of giggles turn into rolls on the floor. Lexan feels good in this moment. She feels promise. She feels on the verge of something great.

Moving Forward

Chapter 5  
Lexan goes to Mexico  
2010

Lexan receives the phone call in early late September. Petra notified her that indeed, Lex had been a called up to the Senior team in preparations for 2011 World Cup. Her first reaction when she clicks off her cell is amazing, floating elation. “Whoooooooooo!!!!!!!” She yells as she tosses some couch pillows around the room. “I can’t freaking believe it!!! I’m going to the show.” Her second reaction is relief. The boxes she has yet to unpack from her recent move to her apartment in Henrietta, New York still sit in the corner of the living room. “Well, I guess I don’t need to spend all my time settling in, huh Akers?” Akers is her cat and it’s not particularly enjoying this show of emotion. Its tail in full ‘bottle brush’ mode as it scoots further under the couch. Lexan had been recently signed to play for the Western New York Flame. She has just recently left her former club in California to move here. She cannot believe she has made it this far….yet runs back to the computer to read the email correctly, assuring that indeed she IS on the team. She is to report to Cancun, Mexico for the knock out round in 3 days. The team had already received a bye and didn’t need to participate in the early rounds of the CONCACAF qualification tournament, so right into the think of things they go. Lexan calls her family in California, her sister and the Coach of the WNY Flame. They are all thrilled for her. She is on her way.

The team had arrived in Mexico several days before the tournament. They trained at a special camp that was at a higher altitude than they were used to. The harder workout would better prepare them for the battle ahead. Eventually they arrived in Cancun. The responsibility of assigning roommates falls on the coaches. Every single player has a best bud or two. In order for team ‘emotional health’, the roommate assignments are always varied. Cliques are avoided at all costs. For these qualifiers Petra has carefully decided who needs to bond and who needs space. She has noticed the potential that Lexan and Liz have as a striking team. She also knows they struggle in getting their timing down. She decides they are going to room together. Lexan is not particularly thrilled about the room assignment. Though her familiarity with Liz is better she still has waves of nervousness and butterflies when around her. Strangely the sickness completely disappears when they are on the pitch. It’s only during casual time that she feels uncomfortable. “Window or door?” Lexan has her earbuds in and misses the question as they both enter room 103. She senses something, looks up at Liz and removes one ear piece. “I asked if you preferred the bed closer to the window or the one closer to the door, and more importantly….the bathroom?” Lex had already decided she was going to defer to Liz on all things associated with their sleeping arrangements. This is indicative of how she has been on the pitch too. Try to predict what Liz wants….what Liz needs. “You pick”, Lexan responds. “Oh no you don’t little missy” Liz smiles “Your needs are as important as mine…..seriously….you pick” Lexan considers this for a moment “Ooookay…..door than” and smiles at Liz. “FUCK!” Liz feigns anger. “I always take the door side bed!” Liz teasingly throws a bag on the floor and gives it a small kick, as if in a snit. “Damn Newbies” she continues as she flops her long body on the bed closest to the window. “Psych!!!...I actually like being closest to the window. See Lex? You CAN predict my needs?” Liz purrs playfully “So….to continue in that vein….what do I need right now?” Lexan stops dead. She thinks…that it is quite possible… that Liz is flirting with her. That Liz…might actually WANT Lexan to come to her bed. ‘oh…….my…….god’. Lexan has turned to stone. Stuck…..immobile…fly on flypaper stuck. “DINNER!!....Lexan, oh honey….dinner…..really” Liz busts out laughing at the total mixed message she had just presented and immediately hops off the bed. “Lex, please….I can have a bawdy sense of humor but in NO WAY would I EVER try to seduce you like that….god I feel like an idiot. Please accept my apology…that came across really unprofessionally.” Liz’s laugh diminishes to a serious tone. Lexan has a couple feelings in a short amount of time. One is relief, one is embarrassment for not seeming more ‘cool’, and one… is…what?.......disappointment!? ‘Are you kidding me? Freaking disappointment?’ Lexan thinks to herself ‘Get a grip West, you have a freaking crush on Liz Davidson? …I’m in a mess here. I’m not even gay. Am I? No…..wait……NO!’ The conversation in her head is fast and even comical. Lexan laughs to herself. She misses most of Liz’s apology lost in her own thoughts…..she sits down on her own bed. From the look on Lexan’s face, Liz fears she has really freaked the kid out. Liz sits down on her bed and faces Lexan. “Lex?” Lexan looks at her “Yeah?” Liz adds “Are you okay?” Lexan sighs and then asks her “Are you gay Liz?” Liz is struck at the question. Not that Lexan doesn’t have the right to ask it just seems so obvious to Liz that it doesn’t need to be addressed. “Does that bother you?” Liz replies her answer. “No it doesn’t, not at all.” She looks up into Liz’s blue eyes. “Good because you and I are going to make history together West, and in order to do that we need to trust each other.” Liz is on her knees in front of Lexan now and she places both her hands on Lexan’s knees. “THAT being said, I won’t EVER hit on you, come on to you, try to seduce you…or do ANYTHING to intentionally hurt you. Do you believe me?” Liz finishes in an almost inaudible tone. “I do believe you Liz” Lexan’s chest releases a bit “But I also need you to know that it makes no difference in my feelings for you Liz. I think you are awesome and I’ve already learned so much from you…. and I’m so happy to be here.” This makes Liz smile and at the sight of her bright, wide smile…..Lexan feels her chest tighten again. Liz adds “BUT I might ask you to dance with me sometime. Is that okay? It’s a theory I have.” This in turn, makes Lexan smile. “Ab-so-lutely” and she gets up to start putting her clothes away in drawers. Liz opens her laptop and does what Liz does the night before any game, starts to watch videos of their next day’s opponent. After some time Lexan comes over to Liz’s bed. “So what have you discovered” she asks. “Nothing surprising, they have a really good defensive mid, but I know all her moves” Liz answers. “Erica Deracho?” Lex asks. “That’s the one. I can’t say I’m really looking forward to seeing her, she and I have a bit of a history together.” At this she has Lexan’s full attention “Were you too lovers?” Liz answers without taking her eyes of the computer screen “We were” she pauses to think…..”Hurt people who acted like hurt people act…..when they’re hurt”. And then she looks up and smiles at Lexan. “But it was years ago” she continues “I don’t think I’m Erica’s favorite person to this day; she always seems to foul me with extra feeling. Whenever I see her it’s……um…..interesting to say the least.” Liz looks back at her computer screen. Lexan wanted to ask more questions about being ‘hurt’ but gleaned that was all Liz was willing to talk about, so she dropped it. 

When team meals occur as per tradition, new members of the WNT are to sit with Veterans. Lexan was paired up with Mandy Robinson which suited Lexan just fine. Mandy is painfully funny and ridiculously cool. She’s openly gay and Lexan decides she is going to try to get more information on Erica Derecho and Liz. “So….Robbie” Lexan begins and places a forkful of salad into her mouth. “So Lexi” Mandy pauses mid-fork to mouth to respond. “Tell me about Erica Deracho?” Lexan asks hoping to avoid any particular tone in her voice. Mandy sets her fork down on her and looks at Lexan. “Which part of her…Erica ON the field, Erica OFF the field or Erica PLAYING the field?” Lexan laughs at that. “How about all of it?” Mandy starts “I don’t really know much about her off the field except that she has been known to dabble in the ladies occasionally. On the field she’s an animal and ruthless. She is a very strong defensive mid and she can still end up in the box and score” Lexan asks “So she dabbles in the ladies?” Mandy cocks an eyebrow and pauses. Then says with a smile “You want me to hook you up with her West…what’s going on?” At that Lexan sputters. “Um…no….she’d probably tear me apart, from her reputation. I had just heard her name and wondered what her deal is.” Mandy takes the moment to look over at Liz who is watching Daylin try to dribble a meatball on an inverted spoon. She observes Liz’s patience and thinks about what she knows about Liz and ‘Psycho Erica’ and turns her attention back to Lexan. “There’s really not that much to tell, you’ll have to see for yourself.”

 

Chapter 6  
Lexan was jacked about the game. She had one of the green pinnies on that all substitutes wear. She took her place between Daylin and Becca on the bench. Lexan had been waiting for an opportunity to get a good look at Erica Deracho. She had googled her the previous night and had already decided she looked like a bitch. She WAS very pretty though. She didn’t look like she was gay….whatever that means….she looked like a model. Erica had dark, long hair and was curvy in the places that Latina’s were often curvy. She had boobs and a butt. She even saw a picture of Erica and Liz together when she searched the two names together. They didn’t look happy in the picture. For some reason that made Lexan feel pleased. As Mandy had described Erica was a powerhouse. As Liz had implied, Erica seemed to target Liz with the specific intention of fouling her. There were times it seemed like Erica was determined to actually injure Liz. One foul in particular had Erica chasing down Liz on a breakaway. Erica was faster than Liz so when she got ahead of her she tackled Liz so hard and so inappropriately that Liz went face down on the grass and didn’t get up. Lexan was sure Erica had really hurt Liz’s knee. Lexan and Daylin immediately shot to their feet and Captain Wendy Pierce ran all the way from her defensive position to get in the Refs face. If Emily Lafayette didn’t ease Pierce away from the Ref, Lexan was sure she was going to get red carded and removed. Lexan’s heart was in her throat. Get up Liz. Lexan was thinking. “Get up Liz!!” she said aloud. Liz takes a beating in every game and Refs do not call NEARLY the fouls they should. It is well known among players and even professional commentators agree that Liz gets fouled without getting a call more than any female player known. When Liz is down…she is hurt. She’s not like some players who milk the clock or just engage in shenanigans pretending to be hurt. Liz is hurt. Once the trainers are on the field and Liz rolls onto her back, and Lexan sees Liz move both her knees….then Liz sits up……and then Liz stands……and only when Liz walks toward the edge of the pitch, does Lexan release the breath she had not realized she had been holding. Liz will not allow herself to be subbed out. Petra knows that Liz is professional enough that if she was hurt to the point of being a detriment, she would leave the pitch. Liz was okay. She took a couple squeezes from a Gatorade bottle and jogs back onto the field. The crowd roars. Liz is an international favorite. Both men and women understand her immense talent and raw determination. Erica Deracho didn’t even approach Liz to see if she was okay. “That Deracho is a bitch” Daylin says over the crowd noise. “Yeah, she’s not very nice….or professional, is she?” Lexan responds. The match is back in full gear and the subs and alternates all sit back down.  
They lost. They actually lost to Mexico. It wasn’t a terrible loss…but it was NOT how to start a journey to winning the World Cup. Lexan was subbed in for Chamberlain at the 64’ mark. She didn’t do her job. Liz was at the far post time after time, simply awaiting a decent pass she could head into goal. Lexan didn’t get the balls to her. Mandy didn’t get the corner kicks to her. O’Brian didn’t get HER corner kicks to her. Even the powerhouse midfielder Carey Floyd, subbed in the 72’ couldn’t do right. It was devastating for whole team. The USWNT didn’t lose very often and when they did, it hurt.

The mood in the locker room was dour. Liz kept her head down the whole time. Lexan had known the attachment Liz had for winning the World Cup. She had always imagined helping Liz get there. This is NOT the way it’s supposed to be. Petra gave the team her feedback. She often saved personal criticisms for private. Lexan knew that at a certain point, Petra would approach her. She was not sure she was going to enjoy the insight that Petra would eventually share with her. After showers, most of the team decides to go out for a couple drinks. Nothing crazy, it’s not like there was any celebrating to be done.  
The team spends the next several hours drinking away their loss. They start at a Mexican beer garden, and then moved onto a salsa like dance club and finally end up in a bar called “Hermanas”. Mandy had been bugging the team to come to this bar. “Dude…this is a gay bar.” Daylin states to Kathey and Lexan and they walk fast to keep up with Mandy. “Why do you say that?” asks Lexan “Well……in my VAST experience with gay bars, which totals ONE other than this…..they tend to be down alleys…..they TEND to have some ‘rainbowy’ decorations” she points at a neon sign advertising Dos Equis in rainbow letters, she continues….”AND…….the two women making out against that car is a dead giveaway” Daylin finishes in a whispery laugh. “Is it wrong that I find that kinda hot?” Kathey chimes in. “Oh my god…..do you think I’m a little gay?” Kathey smiles knowing she’s just playing. “Everyone’s a little gay” Daylin smiles and pinches Kathey on the ass. Kathey jumps and gives Daylin a mock slap in the face. Daylin is just also just playing. Daylin has never talked about boyfriends OR girlfriends but Lexan is pretty sure she is straight. Lex thinks it’s very funny and wonderfully advanced for a bible toting Christian. Every woman on the National team is evolved enough to handle gay bars. They know if you want GREAT music and GREAT dancing you go to a gay bar. Lexan has been in gay bars before but they were always male bars. This will be her first ‘girl’ bar adventure. “Huh…Hermanas?” She wonders aloud as she looks up at the sign. “It means Sisters” Liz casually mentions as she passes Lexan. Liz’s long legs often put her in the passing lane on walks across town. The bar is dark and a form of electronica, trance music is coming from the DJ booth. Daylin hands Lexan a drink, and Lex decides to find a place to park herself and observe. Liz and Mandy are off in a corner with Emily and Cord. Lexan thinks to herself…’well, the ‘gays’ are sticking together.’ It’s not long before she sees some familiar faces enter the bar. Several women from Mexico’s team have arrived, including Erica Deracho. From the way that Erica scans the crowd it’s clear to Lexan that she is looking for someone. Not surprising, Erica’s eyes land on Liz…she says something to her teammates and crosses through the crowd to Liz’s table. ‘THIS is going to be interesting’, Lex thinks to herself. Liz appears to be neither surprised nor taken aback by Erica’s approach. Lexan can’t hear the conversation that ensues but something is DEFINITELY being said. It doesn’t take long for Mandy to rise out of her seat and move to get between Erica and Liz. “So Lizzy”…Erica purrs. “I hope I didn’t hurt you too badly out there tonight. It would be a shame for you to get injured and not make it into the finals this year.” Liz tries to ignore Erica and starts to talk to Mandy, as if she didn’t even hear Erica’s words. Erica ups the ante and continues “I see you have some new meat on your team. The new girl with the pink pre wrap in her hair….will she become a new conquest of yours Liz?” Mandy interrupts “Okay….okay Erica.” Mandy moves from her seat. Mandy knows that THIS is not something Liz is going to put up with and if things get ugly, it will only make for bad press and put Liz in the doghouse with Petra. “It’s okay Mandy…I got this” Liz unfolds herself from her seat and stands to full height to address Erica. “Erica. Let’s get one thing clear” Liz is careful to keep her tone even and her emotions in check. “You will NOT try to cause shit here tonight. Are we clear on this?” Liz’s sharp blue eyes in contrast with Erica’s dark brown “ That ‘meat’ is going to be one of the best players on this fucking planet someday, something…I might add, you will never be because you are a dirty player who lets personal shit get in the way of what you could potentially be!!” Lexan can hear raised voices now but still can’t hear what’s being said. “Oh…forgive me ‘Liz the perfect’….Liz who fucks women when it suits her and then never calls again” Erica is losing her cool now. Mandy now has her hands lightly on Liz’s shoulders, trying to steer her away from Erica. Liz looks at Erica with great purpose. She looks deep into Erica’s eyes and with a soft voice she says “I’m sorry I hurt you Erica. I was in a lot of pain too” “FUCK YOU” Erica spat. “Perhaps I will go introduce myself to pink headband girl…maybe I’LL go fuck someone YOU care about and then dump her like trash” This is the first time Liz realizes that Erica is drunk. When Erica gets drunk she gets VERY risky. Megan tries to lighten the mood by adding “You care about Lexan...you never told me? I thought we were close dude.“ The words drip with sarcasm and she says exactly what Liz wished she’d say. She let Erica know that Lexan ISNT with Liz in any way…therefore hurting Lexan is fruitless. The truth…is that Liz cares VERY much for Lexan, she just can’t take any action or speak any words to anyone about it. This adds to Liz’s loneliness. Erica turns to leave but changes her mind. “How’s Sandra? “ At THAT Liz starts to move toward her, this time with heat in her eyes. “That’s ENOUGH!” Megan says. “For fucks sake Erica, if she hit you, she would break your stupid-ass jaw…drop it and shove off!” Erica offers a catty smile and holds both hands up in mock surrender “Okay….okay….I think I WILL go check out the new meat in this place though….the ladies tend to love me….ya know?” and leaves with a final wink. Liz sits back down and lets out a huge breath. Emily, who has been sitting there the whole time, finally chimes in “you okay Liz?” Liz’s head is in her hands. She raises her head to Emily “Yeah….I’m fine. She really knows how to push my buttons. 

 

Lexan finishes watching the melee at the corner table when Daylin and Kathey each grab and arm and pull her out on the dance floor. “Let’s see if she dances like a horse” Daylin yells over the music. In fact Lexan doesn’t dance like a horse, she dances very well. Two people take notice of this…one is Liz and to Liz’s concern, the other is Erica, who is watching Lexan from the corner of the dance floor like a lioness preparing to bring down a meal. Liz doesn’t intend to get involved. Lexan is a big girl and her interference would be EXACTLY what Erica wants. Erica continues drinking, when she finishes her drink, she has another one placed in her hand almost immediately. Her minions take good care of her. Liz has only had a couple beers and has switched to water. Mandy and Emily are getting pretty buzzed and showing each other photos of their girlfriends. Nothing in bad taste though. Both Mandy and Emily cherish their girlfriends. After a good solid hour of dancing, Lexan tell the others she is going to go get a drink. They both decide to stay on the dance floor. Lex orders her 2nd drink from a very attractive bartender who speaks good enough English for Lexan feels confident that she will get the drink she correct. While the drink is being prepared Lexan turns to face the bar crowd finds her face inches from Erica Deracho. “Hi” Erica says with a conspiratorial smile. “My name is Erica…I believe I saw you on the field tonight?” Lexan is struck by how freaking close Erica is to her and that there is not the faintest hint of a Spanish accent in her voice. “Um…..yeah, I was there” Lexan immediately starts to scan the room for any of her teammates. She doesn’t know whether she WANTS to find them in case she needs back up, or she DOESN’T want to find them, in case being seen with Erica Deracho would be a bad thing. “Would you like to dance with me?” Erica gives Lexan her best sultry smile. “Um…actually I just got off the dance floor and I’m taking it easy for a bit” Lexan says into Erica’s ear. It’s hard to have a conversation in this part of the bar. “Yeah, I saw you dance….you’re pretty good…for an American” Erica says while putting her arm up on the bar behind Lexan’s back and near Lexan’s drink. “Yeah…thanks, my parents had me take ballet, tap and jazz before soccer” Erica’s eyes never leave Lexan’s and she nods at the right time. The liquid she just put in Lexan’s drink is completely odorless and colorless. The bartender sees what Erica has done, but does not say anything…she doesn’t approve though and frowns at Erica. Erica takes Lexan’s drink off the bar and stirs it with the tiny straw to appear helpful, but in reality wants to make sure any evidence has disappeared. “Thanks” Lex takes the drink. “I’m going to go see how my friends are holding up” She walks away “Better than you’ll be in about 20 minutes” Erica says as she turns back to the bartender. “What Juls?” “What did you put into her drink Erica?” the bartender waits for the response. “Just a little GHB…she’s going to feel very weird, and then she’s going to going to want to take a nap” Erica turns and walks away from the bartender.

Continured in Part 2


End file.
